HY + CC in Philippine

Hihi! Greetings from Taiwan. My brother and I were back from Philippine. We went there on the 28^th and left Pagadian city this Monday and reach home on Tuesday early morning. I found it is easy to travel to Pagadian city from Taiwan, but it was exhausted. Going and coming back it was all midnight flight. On the day going and coming back from Pagadian city we met the city Mayor’s wife and she still remembered us from last year.

Since last year visited Philippine, Pagadian my brother and I had the thought that we wanted to go back. But we had no idea what we can do. My thought was trying to give support and care for their life especially the people in SakaD’A. SakaD’A is a group of young people who get together perform dance and drama. They are in their early 20’s. SakaD’A changed a lot compare with last time we met the group. Now only few people we knew. SakaD’A faced difficulties through the past year and most of the people left because of studies and works. Three weeks ago they had a new group of people joined. My brother and I spent most of our time with those we knew, seven of them.

We stay at the same place, the same room as AFL visited last year. And the girls’ room was the same without air-con. Our host didn’t repair since last year we left. But the city changed. They have a new airport and it was more convenient. It took less than 30 mins to reach the place we were staying. The main road in front of our place is constructing into double wide. There is a new department coming and the boss is the Mayor’s wife.

We were in Pagadian with another 4 Malaysian Chinese, Nandor and Weny couple, Kaylin and Jackie. Jackie will be in Taiwan with us for the Chinese in Action. Nandor and Weny went twice a year to give family workshops there and helping the team develops. This was their fifth time visiting.

We attended Nandor’s sensitivity training with SakaD’A. And we had one to one time with each of them. I appreciate the time with them and their trust + open sharing. Through the workshop drawing the family tree I got to know their background more. And through one to one time together I can ask more details and really give support to their life as they needs. Each of them has their own issues in life. I was touch by their attitude. Even it is painful to go back to the pass, they still willing to try. During the workshop each of them cried. The time with us they cried again. The time we left can see hopes in their life and some people already taking small step of action. We also went to Gen’s niece one year old birthday party and met his big family. XYZ’s mum and younger brother came to the Change Start with Me conference.

Oct 3^rd they had their first Change Start with Me conference. It was a one day conference from 9 am to 4 pm. The theme for this time was Love starts with Family. In the morning Nandor was the keynote speaker. And then two Malaysia friends + me + two Filipino went to share our stories. Everything was translated into their language. We had Q&A time. And can see the people who attended were shy to speak but they keep passing note to the MC to asked questions and shared their feelings. In the afternoon were small groups’ time and each group needed to come up with a performance to present. It can be singing or drama. We had fun in the afternoon. There were around 50 people attended and we had one senior couple Vic and Alice DIAZ came from Manila as well. Now Pagadian slowly can see a team form and they are ready to have the same conference next year.

Best wishes

H.Y

生命工作者

    2009年3月，隨著國際生命行動(AFL)我來到菲律賓，為期一個月的田野服務，當時結識了SakaD’A，他們是一群20歲左右的年輕人，主要是以歌舞表演為主，但是招集這一批年輕人的女士，認識道德重整，因此她也在做陪伴生命成長的工作，陪伴這群年輕人成長，而這一群年輕人也因為她，找到了一個心靈可以慰藉的地方，找到第二個家。

    我在台灣也是做陪伴年輕人生命成長的工作，所以對他們很感興趣，再加上他們一群當時很有心的接待我們，我也發現他們的生命很需要被支持、關心，也因此去年在離開前我下了一個承諾：「我會再回來」。

   上個禮拜我和我弟實踐我們的承諾，再次回到菲律賓，明答那峨島上的Pagadian城市。這次只是短暫的訪問，停留了7天，搭的是便宜機票，雖然路程不遠，但是路程很累，因為飛機是飛半夜的，可以說是整晚都沒得睡。

    這次的拜訪，最主要是想花時間和SakaD’A的年輕人相處，深入的認識他們的生命，經過協調發現馬來西亞的松哥、薇妮姐夫婦皆同凱琳和Jackie也會去菲律賓幫忙上成長課程。而菲律賓10月3日有一天的「改變從我開始」大會。因此我跟我弟加入了松哥帶領的成長課程「敏感度訓練」、「家庭會傷人」，分享完故事的年輕人就會被我們約談，同時我們也協助大會的一切。短短的7天，本來是一點計畫也沒有，結果變成很扎實的在工作。

    我很感謝有這樣一次機會回去菲律賓，再次見到許多熟悉的面孔，印象特別深刻的是又見到市長夫人，我跟我弟不是很喜歡跟政治人物打交道，因為他們給我的感覺都很表面，面對他們就像在應酬，但這次去Pagadian是跟市長夫人同一班飛機，回程的時候又遇到市長夫人來機場送客，真不知是幸還是不幸。

    這是我第一次進到松哥的課堂，聽完一整堂課，林潤崧是我爸的學生，他從我爸這學到有關成長課程的一切，自己的生命大幅改造，並且把這一套課程帶回馬來西亞，在馬來西亞建立Akasha學習社群，幫助生命的成長，做得有聲有色。這麼多年，我一直沒有機會坐進松哥的教室裡聽完一堂課。松哥的課堂跟我爸的很相似，操作模式是類似，不過課堂的氣氛不一樣，松哥有他的一套，讓我很容易適應的是講課的方向是一樣的，可以讓我多加學習的是松哥舉的例子和說明的方式，跟我爸的不一樣。

    這次的時間花在7個年輕人身上，這7位是從去年到今年還留在SakaD'A團體的，算是資深成員，很高興這次有機會深入他們的生命，透過敏感度訓練，家庭圖的展示，我看到的是一個個受傷的生命，每個人都有每個人的關卡，家庭關係是他們很沉重的包袱。

    在菲律賓，每個男生都可以用「漂亮」來形容，每個眼睛都大大的，睫毛長長的，很會放電，但是男生們的女性味很濃厚，甚至有些人的打扮已經穿上裙子、畫上粉紅色指甲油，加上身材纖細，遠遠看還真以為是女孩子。每個家庭至少會有一個孩子被貼上「同性戀」的標籤，讓我不禁納悶，這個社會是怎麼了?聆聽7個生命故事，被父母拋棄的占多數，爸媽先上車後補票，或是從未補票的也佔多數，談論到爸爸掉眼淚的，幾乎是每一個人。男人在菲律賓的家庭、社會中消失了，不論男孩、女孩都是在媽媽的影響下長大，爸爸是被排除在家庭之外的，有些爸爸是到外地工作，有些爸爸則是有婚外情而離開了家。

    透過生命故事分享，讓我更了解他們來自的背景，透過一對一的談話，可以問到比較深入的細節，另一個談話的重點是希望能讓他們看到生命的希望，有過去沉重的傷口，可以怎麼療傷讓未來一樣充滿光明。很令我感動的是他們學習的心，回憶過去是一件痛苦的事情，分享完生命故事21歲的瑪雅離開教室在外面哭泣，她說：「我知道你們是為了我好，但是你們一個個挖出我心裡的傷，我好痛好痛。」

    杰尼，20歲，是一位被領養的孩子，親生媽媽是養母的妹妹，成長過程中家人也從未避諱讓他知道他的親生父母，養父母待他不錯，但他心中一直納悶著為什麼他是被送走的那一位，為什麼親生父母要把他給別人，每次見到親生爸爸他都想問，只是問不出口，我們鼓勵他去尋找答案，他也是掉著眼淚說：「我不敢，我怕聽到的答案是他們根本不想要我，我承受不住。」

    蒂，21歲，大學二年級才知道爸爸在結婚以前有個女兒，一直以來她都以為自己是爸爸唯一的女兒，爸爸的隱瞞讓她覺得被爸爸背叛，很懷念以前跟爸爸的關係，我們鼓勵她去了解背後的故事，很高興在最後一天她說她決定去參加爸爸親戚的喪禮，她說：「我不知道這趟去能不能跟爸爸說到話，但至少我想去嘗試見見爸爸的原生家庭。」

    生命的醫治，要學習用長大的眼去看小時候的傷，學習去了解背後的故事，才能化解心中的結，受傷的生命在尋找力量成長都需要很多的鼓勵、很多的支持，但一個生命的成長，關鍵點是在「個人」，個人願意走上這一條不容易的路嗎?在他們7個年輕人身上，我看到他們都對生命說：「我願意」，願意學習去接受已經發生的一切，願意去尋找生命中不明白的地方，願意為自己的生命負起百分之百的責任，這是我最感動的部分，我也願意盡我所能陪伴他們走這生命成長之路。